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I am in love! What is love?
When we find out that we are in love, we simply stop to existing to our friends, to family members and anyone who is not a part of our new discovery. We want to spend more time with the loved one, and they become the solution to all of our problems. Love make us blind. We do not see beyond our realm of attraction. This type of love, unfortunately is unhealthy.
For this reason, love at first site happens, and can be fuelled into a love forever. However, it is necessary to maintain alive the desire to get to know the other person. If this feeling is fuelled with lies, it will evaporates. The desire to keep this feeling can be disastrous. So, love and lies do not go together. (GET IT).
Love starts as a passion and a strong desire to learn about somoene. When we are in love, we are actually in love with the idea of learning more about somone we find atractive in many ways. We call it love, for it is a strong emotion, and we may have never felt anything similar before.
So, nowadays, passion and love are mixed up by most individuals. For this reason it is important to define passion as a strong desire to be with someone right now, without thinking of the consequences. And love is a desire of continuance.
A passion goes away as soon as we learn that the person we are affectionated with has too many baggage, or someone else comes aboard more interesting. A passion when practiced with sex is a recipe for disaster. Usually one involved will get addicted to that expression of love, and will use sex as a fuel for that feeling. The heart will search for continuance, and soon will learn that a mistatke was made. Hopefully without babies!
A passion turns into love when one feels the need to give love. Even though, emotions are hardly involved in it's full array, humans can learn to turn a passion into love if they are honest with one another. When only one party is interested in developing passion into love all by himself (herself), he or she end up in a road called Suffering.
If your first love is a person going through hardships, be careful, for you may end up loving too much! Humans in general like to be needy, and when an opportunity appears, they think it is love. Yes, it is the love of giving, caring, sharing, but it is not the love with desire to continuance. Usually, the person to whom you are expressing love will show his need for tenderness, but it doesn't necessarily means that he will be able to reciprocate love on a long run.
When one loves too much, one wants to love extensively, but end up giving it too much and too fast, smattering the other human being. This is not love, but only a desire to help or cure someone one thinks to be in love with.
In summary, if you are experiencing this new feeling, enjoy it, but also check it out:
Who are you in love with, and does he love you back?
Is there any potential to make that love turn into "growth"?
Are you being loved back?
The answer is: YES, YES, YES for wrong reasons! "Check it out" means to know if this person who is messing with your body chemistry is worth your time and dedication? If so, why?
Has he ever loved before?
For all first lovers out there, I recommend you keep the line of communication open with your parents. They have a clear vision of what it is and what it isn't. They can't live your life for you, but they can guide you into not getting involved with liars.
Now, leaving aside first love and it's symptoms, I can directly talk about love in a sense of using the full array of humans emotions.
To begin, love and lust are usually mixed up.
Lust is a desire to be near, have sex, enjoy that moment, and in the morning, lust goes straight for the door in search of it's own solitude. Lustful people are people that experience a passion along with sex, and they confuse it with love. It is love for sex, love for attention, love for libido satisfied. Yes, it can all be love, but it is not the LOVE I am talking about.
Love is the desire to accept yourself (and feel accepted) exactly as you are and find someone who sees you as a potential for spiritual growth. Spiritual growth happens if both parties are honest, truthful, and without shame to learn about self, and share it as one learns, and discover that another being sees you pass all your physical differences, mental interpretation of something, but wants to be with you for this spiritual ride, no matter what day-to-day brings.
When you decide to tolerate your mate's bad habits you will have yours tolerated. This is a recipe for love.
If you see no growth, leave that person now. Growth we see when we want to better ourselves and we have someone who wants it more than we do. They are the force! If lies exist, growth evaporates!
If you see a potential for reciprocal growth, stay in there.
One common baggage people bring into their new relationship has to do with self steam. Do not fell in love with the idea of curing them. You are not a doctor, and doctors do not marry their patients. Again, if truthfulness is present, something good will come out of this.
Love is a desire to grow spiritually with somoene in despite of their faults and mishaps. Love means to accept what each day brings, and be happy for feeling loved. Love is not the idea of loving a thing or an experience, but the urge to grow together with a human being, despite of any changes in their behavior. Love is to stay together during hardship. Love means to stick there and love each moment.
If your loved one has cheated, be advised that your problem is with your loved one, and not with whomever he cheated with. It can be your best friend. Most of the time friends want a piece of what you have. First and foremost, do not have any friends to confide your life. This is only between you, your loved one, and if necessary, your family. Close friends are good, but not ever to confide what you are not capable of sharing with your loved one. THIS IS A TRAP! Friends are good when we are growing in search of our mate. They can be good shoulders. Or when we are in financial difficulty, but they can not take the space of your lover when being true (truthful) is in question.
Be thankful for your friend actions! She is gone, and probably he will be gone too. Deal with him only. There is nothing more absurd than taking matters into your hands with a third party when your loved one let it happen. Can you handle it? Can you stick in there?
Whatever you do, remember that love is not happening! Do not be silly to the point of saying: "I love him."
You love an idea of a human being near you. I am sorry for you because you call love 'your desires', and doesn't make love a reflexive-reciprocal verb, but a noun. I love you because you are the father of my kids.
I love you because you are the way you are and you act stupid, and hurt me, but you are even more hurt than I am, because you love me so much, that you will leave, if it would make me happier. I think we can work this out, but stop being guilty. It happened, and you did not control yourself, but I am glad you told me first. We will keep our honesty between us and see where it lead us to.
Only relaxed people can truly love. LOVE IS A DESIRE TO GROW spiritually WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
Milton
First love is a chemical unbalance of the brain that is necessary for human beings to survive in community. I say unbalance because when we sense (feel) love, our brain goes into various changes in a very fast pace, and feelings in regards to anything else are not balanced, or controlled.
When love appears for the first time (love in a sense of passion),and we have the maturity to abstain from sex, we can deal with it in a more reasonable way, but it is hard to simply not feed love with sexual encounters. We've all learned that the fuel for love is sex. Although, it is not the truth.When we find out that we are in love, we simply stop to existing to our friends, to family members and anyone who is not a part of our new discovery. We want to spend more time with the loved one, and they become the solution to all of our problems. Love make us blind. We do not see beyond our realm of attraction. This type of love, unfortunately is unhealthy.
For this reason, love at first site happens, and can be fuelled into a love forever. However, it is necessary to maintain alive the desire to get to know the other person. If this feeling is fuelled with lies, it will evaporates. The desire to keep this feeling can be disastrous. So, love and lies do not go together. (GET IT).
Love starts as a passion and a strong desire to learn about somoene. When we are in love, we are actually in love with the idea of learning more about somone we find atractive in many ways. We call it love, for it is a strong emotion, and we may have never felt anything similar before.
So, nowadays, passion and love are mixed up by most individuals. For this reason it is important to define passion as a strong desire to be with someone right now, without thinking of the consequences. And love is a desire of continuance.
A passion goes away as soon as we learn that the person we are affectionated with has too many baggage, or someone else comes aboard more interesting. A passion when practiced with sex is a recipe for disaster. Usually one involved will get addicted to that expression of love, and will use sex as a fuel for that feeling. The heart will search for continuance, and soon will learn that a mistatke was made. Hopefully without babies!
A passion turns into love when one feels the need to give love. Even though, emotions are hardly involved in it's full array, humans can learn to turn a passion into love if they are honest with one another. When only one party is interested in developing passion into love all by himself (herself), he or she end up in a road called Suffering.
If your first love is a person going through hardships, be careful, for you may end up loving too much! Humans in general like to be needy, and when an opportunity appears, they think it is love. Yes, it is the love of giving, caring, sharing, but it is not the love with desire to continuance. Usually, the person to whom you are expressing love will show his need for tenderness, but it doesn't necessarily means that he will be able to reciprocate love on a long run.
When one loves too much, one wants to love extensively, but end up giving it too much and too fast, smattering the other human being. This is not love, but only a desire to help or cure someone one thinks to be in love with.
In summary, if you are experiencing this new feeling, enjoy it, but also check it out:
Who are you in love with, and does he love you back?
Is there any potential to make that love turn into "growth"?
Are you being loved back?
The answer is: YES, YES, YES for wrong reasons! "Check it out" means to know if this person who is messing with your body chemistry is worth your time and dedication? If so, why?
Has he ever loved before?
For all first lovers out there, I recommend you keep the line of communication open with your parents. They have a clear vision of what it is and what it isn't. They can't live your life for you, but they can guide you into not getting involved with liars.
Now, leaving aside first love and it's symptoms, I can directly talk about love in a sense of using the full array of humans emotions.
To begin, love and lust are usually mixed up.
Lust is a desire to be near, have sex, enjoy that moment, and in the morning, lust goes straight for the door in search of it's own solitude. Lustful people are people that experience a passion along with sex, and they confuse it with love. It is love for sex, love for attention, love for libido satisfied. Yes, it can all be love, but it is not the LOVE I am talking about.
Love is the desire to accept yourself (and feel accepted) exactly as you are and find someone who sees you as a potential for spiritual growth. Spiritual growth happens if both parties are honest, truthful, and without shame to learn about self, and share it as one learns, and discover that another being sees you pass all your physical differences, mental interpretation of something, but wants to be with you for this spiritual ride, no matter what day-to-day brings.
When you decide to tolerate your mate's bad habits you will have yours tolerated. This is a recipe for love.
If you see no growth, leave that person now. Growth we see when we want to better ourselves and we have someone who wants it more than we do. They are the force! If lies exist, growth evaporates!
If you see a potential for reciprocal growth, stay in there.
One common baggage people bring into their new relationship has to do with self steam. Do not fell in love with the idea of curing them. You are not a doctor, and doctors do not marry their patients. Again, if truthfulness is present, something good will come out of this.
Love is a desire to grow spiritually with somoene in despite of their faults and mishaps. Love means to accept what each day brings, and be happy for feeling loved. Love is not the idea of loving a thing or an experience, but the urge to grow together with a human being, despite of any changes in their behavior. Love is to stay together during hardship. Love means to stick there and love each moment.
If your loved one has cheated, be advised that your problem is with your loved one, and not with whomever he cheated with. It can be your best friend. Most of the time friends want a piece of what you have. First and foremost, do not have any friends to confide your life. This is only between you, your loved one, and if necessary, your family. Close friends are good, but not ever to confide what you are not capable of sharing with your loved one. THIS IS A TRAP! Friends are good when we are growing in search of our mate. They can be good shoulders. Or when we are in financial difficulty, but they can not take the space of your lover when being true (truthful) is in question.
Be thankful for your friend actions! She is gone, and probably he will be gone too. Deal with him only. There is nothing more absurd than taking matters into your hands with a third party when your loved one let it happen. Can you handle it? Can you stick in there?
Whatever you do, remember that love is not happening! Do not be silly to the point of saying: "I love him."
You love an idea of a human being near you. I am sorry for you because you call love 'your desires', and doesn't make love a reflexive-reciprocal verb, but a noun. I love you because you are the father of my kids.
I love you because you are the way you are and you act stupid, and hurt me, but you are even more hurt than I am, because you love me so much, that you will leave, if it would make me happier. I think we can work this out, but stop being guilty. It happened, and you did not control yourself, but I am glad you told me first. We will keep our honesty between us and see where it lead us to.
Only relaxed people can truly love. LOVE IS A DESIRE TO GROW spiritually WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.
Milton
