Gay Issues: Passive or Active?

Homosexuality in men is something that has not been studied completely by anyone. What we know is what people say or do.

In the gay community, "passive" is a word used to describe a man who is the "recipient" of the penis during anal intercourse. Sometimes passive is also applied to the one who takes the other's penis into his mouth (receives it inside him) during oral sex. This is opposed to a person who is "active" which means they are the ""inserter" during anal intercourse and the "inserter" during oral sex. Someone who enjoys both giving and receiving during anal intercourse or oral sex would be considered "versatile". Often the term "versatile" is applied only to anal intercourse.

Someone who is "submissive" is often understood to be one who submits to another person's desires, whether in a sexual way or just generally.

"Submissive" is unlike "passive" in that "submissive" does not have to have an opposite. In gay sex, if there is a passive (recipient) person, then there must be an active person. Likewise in BDSM, if there is a submissive partner, there must also be a dominant partner because the submissive partner conforms to the desires of the dominant party. Most people, most of the time, are neither submissive nor dominant in their dealings with others, whether sexual or otherwise. They are cooperative. What we call "vanilla" sex is just cooperative sex, regardless of who is active and who is passive.

There is good reason from what gay men say and do to believe that the passive (recipient) person in gay sex often feels or imagines himself to be submissive and derives sexual pleasure from that feeling or imagination. Likewise, the active person often feels or imagines himself to be dominant and derives sexual pleasure from that.

The bottom line is. The root for all this terms comes from the person's background. Most Latin men see themselves as active because it is more manly than being passive. So, although they will experience and eventually will enjoy being passive, they will assume the identity of being active because it sounds better and it makes them feel as if the are the man in that relationship. This is too passe.

American gay man are more versatile, and in my view, they are more advanced in this sense. They have no hang ups about what they are or like. While Latin men think that having sex with a man and being active means that they are not all the way homosexual. Macho man in reality is a man who is afraid of his own sexuality. Most macho behave differently when drunk, and it says a lot about them.

In my experience, gay guys who defend the idea of being active are truly afraid of complete sexual experiences and will eventually get into marriage with the opposite sex to later find out that they made a mistake. A man who claims to be active has nothing to do with me, as a man who claims to be passive. Men should be versatile in all senses, if they claim to be gay. I do not believe in bisexuality, for it only exist for those who claimed to be active, and later decided to get married, and in order to function in the society they go after guys to have their nightly encounters. In bed everything can be different, and they may explore things they will feel ashamed of while living the other life. This is simply a mental unbalance.

There will be a day when men will have sex with woman for procreation, and not for recreation, and eventually they will explore all sides of sexual pleasure, for it doesn't require drugs and brings one to climax.

A woman - to keep a man in bed must explore all avenues, and eventually try to be active with her partner with objects etc, to make that relationship more complete. But while there is a ta bu, this experience is only practiced by a few couples. What i mean is: While having sex with  a woman, let her touch you in places you have never been touched before, and bring you pleasure where you never imagine. This is perfectly normal, and should not go away from the bedroom. This way men will feel more complete and lose desire to go in search of trouble outside of their relationship.

This is all for now.

Check on my other gays issues - by clicking on the right side of this site.

Milton